A Right Tragedy
by ShadowFuse
Summary: "It's about sending a message." Naruto arrives at Hogwarts to achieve a harem


**Hello there, I wrote this after a certain discussion with other authors... People who read my other stories, I am writing, slowly but surely, don't worry.**

 **But for now... enjoy?**

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Outside the ancient castle Hogwarts, a portal opened and a tall blonde was thrown out and face planted into the dirt.

The portal snapped shut and disappeared behind him, the blonde got up and spat dirt out of his mouth and brushed the earth off his orange clothes.  
He looked around and smiled, "A new world, perfect! Now I can begin to achieve my ultimate goal!"

He sprinted towards the school of magic.

Harry and all his friends stood at the entrance of the school when all of a sudden a weird looking blonde sprinted up to them.

"Hello there! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, where am I?" Harry raised a brow at the weird stranger.

"Harry Potter," He greeted, "This is Hogwarts, the school of witchcraft and wizardry"

Naruto began to smile and fist pump the air.

"Witches? Perfect! That will makes things interesting."

What on earth was this guy on about? Harry didn't know what to make of the guy and they'd only met for less than a minute.

"What are you on about?" Harry asked bluntly.

The blonde only grinned, "Why, my harem of course!"

Harry gawked at the man, his friends looked on in shock.

"You plan on having a harem with witches?" Hermione questioned in disgust.

"Of course, for I am Naruto Uzumaki, the author demands it! And might I ask your name fair maiden?"

"Hermione, why on earth would anyone in their sane mind join a harem?" Hermione questioned.

The world around them grew dark, a spotlight appeared around Naruto. How? Harry had no fucking idea, he was so lost and had no idea how to react.

"I'm glad you asked Hermeoni-"

"Hermione"

"-For I am Naruto Uzumaki, BEHOLD! MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY!" He cried, his eyes filling with tears.

"I was a neglected boy because of a demon sealed within me. I grew up without friends, I trained to become the best shinobi that I could be for love and attention of the people me. I was almost killed by my best friend and he betrayed my village. I trained and fought in a war because criminals wanted to capture the demon within and rule the world. I saved the world and had to fight my best friend once more, so tragic! But I triumphed! I got my friend back and I become like a god with my power! I care for my friends with all my heart, I'm a loving individual! I'm selfless!" Naruto explained, tears streaming down his face.

"I have god like powers, I have a tragic backstory and females all around me recognise how loving and caring I am. That is why you will join my harem, logic be damned!" Naruto finished, the spotlight disappearing and the world returning to normal.

"...The fuck?" Ron said.

Harry couldn't agree more.

"So you think that having god like powers, a tragic backstory along with a positive character trait means you will have a harem?" Harry questioned.

Naruto looked at them confused, "Of course, it is the will of the author that I be god like, my heart wrenching tale will sway the ladies to my side, so that I might have the ultimate harem! I must fuck everything with a pulse! Realistic standards of romance be damned!" He pointed at Hermione. " **Harem no jutsu!"**

Harry felt what he thought was magic in the air.

"Now female, come to my side and be the first to join my harem!"

Hermione blushed but shook her head a second later, "No! I will not be degraded and join your filthy harem."

The blonde's eyes widened so much that Harry though they would pop out.

He collapsed to the ground and punched the ground in anger, "Damn it! How could that not work? I'm supposed to screw every female around me regardless of age! What is going on?"

He gasped in realisation, "Of course, the author didn't make me edgy enough, I need to be dark, stoic and full of sarcasm if I'm to win the hearts of all the ladies!"

Who the fuck was this 'author' he kept mentioning? This man was insane.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Harry said.

Naruto's eyes bored into his, making him feel uncomfortable. "Harry, it is the will of the author that you are also destined for a harem."

Harry looked skeptical before a sudden feeling washed over him. Images of his past flashed before his eyes, his own tragic backstory, his positive character qualities being shown to him. He saw himself with god like power, no other wizard coming close to his level of strength. Despite how much he resisted, the divine power of shitty writing morphed him into an edgy man who would have women eating out of his hand, willing to share him because of how loving he is.

"…You're right, I too must attain a mighty harem!"

Hermione and Ron looked at him with shock and confusion.

Dumbledore could sense something strange was happening, something shitty and illogical! He cursed and with his deus ex machina powers, he whipped out his wand and muttered a spell to freeze time.

He wandered around the campus, looking for the source of the disturbance and came across Harry and his friends along with a blonde haired man with whiskers.

He unfroze Hermione and Ron and they explained everything. He sighed and knew what needed to be done, everything had to be reset. The story could not take a backseat to a harem!

He reversed it all with a wave of his elder wand. And returned to his tower.

"Fucking cancerous harems, ruining everything. I wish those damn 'authors' would focus on making a good story with a good, developed romance instead of looking for any excuse to get people to fuck everything that breathes." He muttered, he wasn't sure why he muttered what he did, but he ignored it and went back to work.

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 **...Well, that was that...**

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